A small disclaimer (so people don’t think I’m insane… well, MORE insane)

The previous two posts are works of fiction. Part of this whole “blog” thing was to get me writing, and somehow knowing that (theoretically) other people could read this makes it more meaningful than just scribbling in a random notebook. When the fancy strikes, i start writing. Most times, it just about my day, but sometimes I just get in the mood for something and the words just flow out. THAT’S what I’m trying to foster, what’s been so hard for me the past year or two, just getting the flow to come so fast that my fingers blur on the keyboard, and I KNOW what the words are, I don’t have to think about it at all, it’s like I’m there watching it all and just have to write it down… I don’t know how else to describe it, it’s like the exact OPPOSITE of writer’s block.

I had a thought this morning on my way to work, that my problem may not necessarily be one of not ENOUGH creativity, but too MUCH creativity. It’s like trying to drink from a firehose sometimes…  I sit down in a nice, quiet place, and open myself up to be creative and OH GOD I WANT TO MODEL IN MAYA AND PLAY THE GUITAR AND DIRECT A MOVIE AND WRITE HALF A DOZEN NOVELS AND WRITE A SYMPHONY AND DO A COUPLE OF AD CAMPAIGNS AND COME UP WITH AN ALTERNATIVE TO THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY AND AND AND and then there’s some random pant-hooting and muffled thuds as I flop around for a while, and then I get up and go do something decidedly NON-creative, like watch TV, just for the rest, and nothing actually gets created.

I’ve been working on the theory that I’m just too lazy, but I don’t think that’s it. I think I’m going to try working at it like riding a bucking horse… a lot of prep, a lot of resin, hang on tight, and let the horse go where it wants for now, as long as I stay on. Once I get better at riding the thing, THEN I’ll start to try to direct it. I’m hoping that, with enough time in the saddle, I’ll develop a relationship with my creativity that will allow me to control it (as much as I can, anyway) and actually get somewhere with it.

After my first good ride I promise I’ll give it an apple or some sugar cubes.

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